Suppandi's master was a thief. One day-Master: Suppandi always put oil on your hair because it keeps our head cool.Suppandi: I'll remember that.Next day-Master: Suppandi get us some cool water.Suppandi: Yes MasterAfter a whle Suppandi returns with some watermaster: YUCK!!!What is this Suppandi? there's oil in this wate...r.Suppandi:There was no cool water so I put oil in the water to make it cool.
Master:Suppandi,change the sentence i give you into an exclamatory sentence"A BEAUTIFUL GIRL IS WALKING ON THE ROAD"
Suppandi:"WOW!"
One day Suppandi was playing football with his master's son. He had been posted as goalkeeper. Then the opposition charged towards his goal and kicked the ball into the goal from right beside his legs. The masters son was boiling with anger.
Son: Why didn't you stop the ball Suppandi?
Suppandi: Why in the world should I ...stop it? What is the net in the goal for?
Master Its raining outside and i wont take my new umbrella as it will get wet!
Suppandi's new master was the owner of a departmental store.
Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers always open
it and check it for defects.
...That evening-
Customer: One film roll please.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened
the film roll?
Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, master.
One day Suppandi was playing football with his master's son.
He had been posted as goalkeeper. Then the opposition charged towards
his goal and kicked the ball into the goal from right beside
his legs. The masters son was boiling with anger.
...Son: Why didn't you stop the ball Suppandi?
Suppandi: Why in the world should I stop it? What is the net in the goal
for?
Boss: Suppandi! Why the hell are u late! Why did u come when the office is closing!
Suppandi: I left home early., but when I was in the elevator, the power failed. I was in there all the while.
One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout. Then one morning- Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi! Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night. Master: But then why didn't you shout ...for help? Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit
Suppandi: What are you doing master? Master: I am writing a novel. Suppandi: Why are you doing that when you can simply buy it from the market?
Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that i can see my face and shave!!Suppandi: Yes master!!Goes to the market and returns home without a mirror. Master: Why didn't you get a mirror? Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors i could see only my face
Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry. Suppandi: Why? Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes. A little later- Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun? Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.
Suppandi was dialing the phone to his friend. Master: Suppandi don't talk on the phone for more than 3 minutes. After about ten minutes. Master: Suppandi, I told you not to talk on the phone for so long. Suppandi: I didn't master. I talked only for three minutes, the rest of the time I have been listening.
Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring? Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.
Suppandi: Master did u see the news? Its raining in Mumbai! Master: So? Suppandi: Our TV will get wet so i covered it with raincoat!
Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry. Suppandi: Why? Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes. A little later- Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun? Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.
Suppandi's new master was the owner of a departmental store. Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers always open it and check it for defects. That evening- Customer: One film roll please. Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened the film roll? Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, master.
One day at lunch- Master: Suppandi, why have you cooked only one dish, you must always do a little extra than what I tell you to do, more never hurts. That evening- Master: Suppandi, get me a cup of tea. A little later- Master: What is this? Why have you got me 4 cups of tea? Suppandi: You only said, a little extra never hurts.
Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry. Suppandi: Why? Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes. A little later- Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun? Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.
One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout. Then one morning- Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi! Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night. Master: But then why didn't you shout fo...r help? Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.
One day Suppandi and his master were returning from somewhere in the intense heat.
Master: The sun has darkened our skins Suppandi.
Suppandi agreed. The next day-
Master: Suppandi! Get me a bottle of hair dye from the neighbouring store. After some time-
Master: Suppandi, didn't you get that bottle.
Suppandi: I went to the shop, but then I had a brilliant idea. Why don't you stand out in the sun. The sun will darken your hair.
Master: Suppandi, why have you put the spoilt mangoes in the sink. Put them in the dustbin. That's where all spoiled thing's go.
Suppandi: Yes Master.
Master: After throwing them in the dustbin go and get my son, Vijay from school.
After some time there were noises and screams for help coming from the kitchen.The Master rushed in.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing with my son by putting him into the dustbin?
Suppandi: Master, when I had gone to get him, his teacher told me that he was a spoiled brat. You only told me that all spoilt things go in the dustbin.
Master: Suppandi, How much time does it take for you to post a letter? And look, you haven't even posted the letter the 1 hour you have been out.
Suppandi: I searched the whole town master. But all the post boxes were locked.
Suppandi was dialing the phone to his friend.
Master: Suppandi don't talk on the phone for more than 3 minutes.
After about ten minutes.
Master: Suppandi, I told you not to talk on the phone for so long.
Suppandi: I didn't master. I talked only for three minutes, the rest of the time I have been listening.
Master: Suppandi, go and stop a taxi, I have to go to Chennai right away.
Suppandi: Yes master.
After a while-
Suppandi: Master I could not find a single empty taxi, all of them had atleast one man sitting in them.
One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout.
Then one morning-
Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi!
Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night.
Master: But then why didn't you shout for help?
Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.
Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest.
That night-
Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took you so long?
Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.
Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring?
Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.
Master: Suppandi, I cannot find one of these socks, where have you dumped it?
Suppandi: Here it is master.
Master: If you don't keep things in the proper place, they are bound to get lost.
That evening when the master's son came home from school-
Master: How come your Geography teacher has written a note that you are not studying properly? What did you do?
Son: My teacher asked me where Washington was located, and I didn't know where it was.
Suppandi: You would have been able to find it, had you kept it in the right place!
Suppandi was once interviewed for a job as a prison guard.
Inspector: Hmmmmmmm..... Now these are really tough chaps in here, do you think you can manage?
Suppandi: No problem, If they don't behave, out they go.
Suppandi's new master was a gardener.
Master: Suppandi, I had asked you to weed the garden today, why haven't you done it yet?
Suppandi: I thought that I will do it tomorrow.
Master: Silly boy, never leave anything for tomorrow, when you can today.
The next day-
Master: Suppandi, pluck all the ripe mangoes from the garden.
That evening-
Master: You fool, why have you plucked the unripe ones too?
Suppandi: I thought I will pluck them today, instead of waiting for you to tell me to to do it tomorrow.
One day at lunch- Master: Suppandi, why have you cooked only one dish, you must always do a little extra than what I tell you to do, more never hurts.
That evening-
Master: Suppandi, get me a cup of tea.
A little later-
Master: What is this? Why have you got me 4 cups of tea?
Suppandi: You only said, a little extra never hurts.
Suppandi: What are you doing master?
Master: I am writing a novel.
Suppandi: Why are you doing that when you can simply buy it from the market?
Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry.
Suppandi: Why?
Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes.
A little later-
Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun?
Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.Once Suppandi's master's book had been torn. Suppandi stitched it back with thread. His master advised him to use super glue to stitch or stick together anything as it gives better results.
Then One Day-
Master: Suppandi, iron my new and expensive suit as it has to be worn on the wedding tonight.
That evening-
Master: Suppandi, give me my suit.
Suppandi: Here it is.
Master: What has happened to it? What do you think you did to it?
Suppandi: The suit had been stitched together with thread, so I removed all the thread and stuck it together with super glue. Doesn't it give a much better result.
Master: S-U-P-P-A-N-D-I!!!! You're fired! Get out.Doctor: You have 206 bones in your body.
Suppandi: Don't tell loudly. Doctor: Why?
Suppandi: My dog is just outside, if he hears then I am finished.Master:why are you spreading sugar under your pillow?
Suppandi: So that I may have sweet dreams,master.Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry. Suppandi: Why? Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes. A little later- Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun? Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.
Good manners.........
Suppandi: Master! Master! Wake up!
Master: Huh! Uh! Oh, Suppandi.Whats happened?
...
Suppandi: Nothing, master.......I just forgot to wish you good night.
Master:AARGH!!!!!!!!Master – Suppandi, Bring a match box from the market and make sure that all the match sticks are good
Suppandi goes to the Market and buys a match box. When he returns, his master asks him to give the Match box.
Master – Where are the sticks?
Suppandi – Oh, they were all very good master, I burnt all of them on the way to... check the match Sticks!!!SUPPANDI THE NEWS REPORTER
A man in India sees a dog about to bite a lady. And later, he kills the dog.
SUPPANDI reports:
"INDIAN CITIZEN SAVES LADY FROM DOG".
...Later the man says, I am not an INDIAN.
The report is changed now as,
"FOREIGN HERO SAVES INDIAN LADY FROM DOG".
Finally the man confesses that he is a Pakistani.
Next day SUPPANDI'S headlines is,
"TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG"
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